Ups and Downs. It's kinda like a roller-coaster.

Day 57. So, my last few posts have been pretty informational in terms of family and school, etc. I figure it's time to express some emotion.

Life is good. Just thought I'd start off with that. In fact, I have been more disciplined towards seeking the Father's love than I have in a long time, and it has been incredible. Seeking His will and His heart regularly, it actually has a pretty big affect on how one sees life. (Imagine that...). Here's the deal though, it's not always emotionally gratifying, and I can appreciate that it is in fact much deeper than that, but hey, sometimes (ok, so maybe more often than not) I'm looking for some shallow emotional gratification.

Last week, aka, Sept. 20-27, I had probably one of the most incredible weeks of my life. Yeah, that's a big claim, but it's genuinely pretty high up there. First off, that weekend prior, we had visited Jinja as a group (no, I didn't get to see the Palmers) and it was incredibly peaceful and restful. Though part of it was challenging as we saw the way some people lived and were cared for, I could not stop being overwhelmed with how beautiful God's creation is. In the mornings, I would get up early and go read my Bible, while looking over the source of the Nile, and it was incredible. Plus I just had a blast with my friends playing frisbee, swimming, and boating down the Nile. So coming out of that peaceful weekend, I was just loving everything. Oh yeah, and I had kept Sabbath, which I haven't done in forever. Anyway, I found that I was incredibly productive academically during the week, and actually enjoying it! Enjoying what I was learning as well as the process of learning it. Then around 530 I would just sit outside of the building devoted to the M.E. group (aka M.E. Quarters) and read Searching for God Knows What (idk why I could underline that before, but can't now) by Donald Miller as the sun set, and it was so beautiful and so peaceful. That pretty much sums up the whole week. Peaceful.

This week. I'm gonna be honest. It's been pretty rough. So Monday, I decided to do a little of my wash before I went to class, and my brother offered to help, which was appreciated. But then he decided that he need to completely re-teach me and that he would do the actual washing and I could just rinse them off, note: this is before we even started. Oh man, it was there and then that I realized just how much I have been relying on my own patience, and that it had just run out. No worries, I didn't blow up on him or anything, but it basically just made the rest of the day not very good, to say the least. I found that I would drop things incessantly and then get really frustrated about the little things. Clearly, all patience was gone. By the end of the day, I realized that I was trying to be told something and I just wasn't paying attention. (go figure...). It seemed pretty obvious at the end of the day that of course if I am relying on my own patience, it's going to run out and I'm just going to be worse at the end. If I truly want to remain in patience, I must remain in the LORD's patience and not my own. Lesson 1.

So, the next day, I learned what homesickness was. Not just my family, though I was missing them too, but also my community of friends. All day, I just couldn't stop thinking about them (aka you all). It came to my attention just how much I appreciate and thrive on community. And not just a group of people who experience things together, because I definitely have that here, but a group of intimate friends and family, who know each others' past and know how experiences will affect the other. If anything, that's what I have been missing most here, and it hit me hard that day. I definitely appreciate Drew for all that he has been able to provide in terms of understanding and just plain being a brother, but sometimes I wish that I could have several people to bounce things off of to get multiple points of views. So, need for community. Lesson 2.

Rest of the week, crazy unproductive/not being able to enjoy working at all or anything like that. In fact, I found myself (actually someone else caught me and told me I was a nerd) playing with numbers and marveling at the relationship between odds and squares. It's really pretty cool, so I was discovering all this and trying to create an equation for it (which I'm sure already exists, but it's more fun to figure it out by yourself) in the middle of my class. Obviously that means I wasn't really paying attention in class, sorry mom. I've just been wanting to just not do anything that I'm required to. And as I'm typing this and thinking about the last couple weeks, I'm beginning to realize the reason for this one. I didn't take a Sabbath this last week. Dang it. Lesson 3.

So there you go. Super high, super low. In fact, probably one of the biggest highs and biggest lows since I've been here.

I'm really excited about this weekend though! I'm going to be spending it with the Palmers and hopefully get to see Andy too! It'll be great having a chance to just relax, enjoy conversation with some BC family, and be away for the weekend.

I love you guys, thanks for just being awesome people.

Joshua